Nightswimming/Home

i thought i could do it. as an act of desperation, i braved these muddy waters in the dead of night. i could swear that the moon, full as she is this evening, and in all her radiant beauty, was seducing me to dive in. and so without so much a thought, i took off my shirt and started swimming. my destination was my home, and my guide was the moon.

every inch of my being said i could do it. but halfway through my journey, i begin to doubt myself. i pause to see where i am. my feet can’t feel any ground below me. my arms ache and my breath escapes me. the water seems anxious to engulf me and i feel an undercurrent starting to suck me in. i start to wade and wallow again, much faster this time. i think about screaming for help, but then i realize that here in the middle of nowhere only the moon will hear my plea, and her pursed lips betray her indifference. so i swam and i swam. the weight of my efforts begin to take its toll, until i find i can no longer move any of my limbs. i start to take in water. in one excruciating thrust , i heave to inhale my final lungful of air.

i really thought i could go home tonight. maybe i’ll get it right next time.

Nightswimming, remembering that night/ September’s coming soon/I’m pining for the moon/ And what if there were two/ Side by side in orbit/ Around the fairest sun?/ That bright, tight forever drum/ Could not describe nightswimming - Nightswimming by REM

The heat and the sickliest sweet smelling sheets/ That cling to the backs of my knees and my feet/ Well I’m drowning in time to a desperate beat/ And I thank you for bringing me here/ For showing me home/ For singing these tears/ Finally I’ve found that I belong/ Feels like home/ I should have known/ From my first breath - Home by Depeche Mode