A Death Borne of Shame (February 8th, 2011)

Retired General Angelo Reyes offed himself today in front of his mother’s grave. I wonder what could have been going on in his head. Perhaps he was apologizing for falling short of the man his mother wanted him to be. Perhaps he felt ashamed for his frailty and fraudulence. Whatever it was that went on in his mind, I can only guess. I have only known two people who have committed suicide because of shame. The first one was my neighbor who raped his own stepdaughter. Angelo Reyes is the second.

I would like to divulge an observation. While extremists in other countries are willing to strap bombs and blow themselves to smithereens for their beliefs, Filipino terrorists are content with merely leaving a bomb behind and detonating them from afar. While foreign politicians and businessmen who become involved in issues of graft and corruption will kill themselves than face their guilt and shame, their Filipino counterparts will vehemently deny any allegations even if the evidence is staring them right in the face.

My basic observation is that Filipinos generally have a lust for life. Power, zeal, money, these things that people in other countries tend to prioritize, they only come second to how Filipinos value living. That’s why to us, family is so important. That’s why the top causes of suicide in the Philippines revolve around relationships. Some kill themselves because they can’t be with the ones they love. Others kill themselves because they don’t want to be a burden to the ones they love. Almost always about relationships. Never about shame or guilt or beliefs.

Angelo Reyes’ death, although sad, could signal a cultural change. Of course, being this highly publicized surely helps, but what it primarily shows us is a man who broke from the pressure. We see a man who found no other means of escape. In the sidestory, we see two Filipinos who will no longer be bystanders and have chosen to stand up for what they believe is right. And we see that what they’ve done are causing others to follow suit as well.

I admit that it is premature to say that all these things will lead to a 180-degree turnaround for our country, but I can’t deny that I feel a change coming. And I like this type of change, because it is a change in morals. Sure, other countries may be surging financially and economically, and maybe that’s what most people would wish to happen to our country, but I don’t care that much for money (if I may quote the Beatles). All I’m saying is, I like how this story is unfolding, and I can’t wait to turn the page and find out what’s next. My nipples are all hard from the excitement.