The Blind Auditions

In some MRT stations, you'll find blind persons playing their guitars with a donation box settled in front of them. I used to ignore these people, thinking that we have government agencies for those sorts of things. It wasn't until i passed by them along with my musician friend that i had a change of heart.

This friend of mine was bassist, and whenever he came along these blind people during our hangouts, he always made it a point to put something in the donation boxes. After about three times observing this, I finally asked him about his peculiar habit.

He smirked, obviously amused by my query. Then he matter-of-factly said to me that he regarded the blind beggars as fellow musicians--just like us--only they weren't as fortunate to be earning a good living from their craft like we do. What he said hit me like a ton of bricks.

His words made me realize how lucky I actually am for doing something I love and making decent money out of it. It also made me realize that there are those who are people who are as passionate as me, but life simply wasn't able to deal them better cards. After that moment, I also made it a point to put something in those donation boxes.

Now I picture the possibility of a what if: What if I end up just like them--poor and helpless, with nary but my music to give me something to eat?

I have to admit, I am open to the possibility.

Death Wish 13

Remember the time when you hated someone so much you wished them dead? Personally, there are times when I wished I had a sniper rifle so I could blow people’s heads off one by one. You don’t have to tell me how horribly morbid these thoughts are, I’m pretty sure you have them too, in one way or another (You do, don’t you?). Admit it. You think that lazy good for nothing, drug-addled neighbor of yours is a waste of life. Don’t worry, it’s a common human thought which crosses our minds from time to time. The challenge lies in keeping one’s self from acting out on these impulses.

Ever since grade school, I fancied myself to be Gandalf. There is a quote from The Fellowship of the Ring that best sums up why I manage to NOT purchase that sniper rifle.

Frodo: It’s a pity Bilbo didn’t kill him(Gollum) when he had the chance.

Gandalf: Pity? It was pity that stayed Bilbo’s hand. Many that live deserve death. Some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them, Frodo? Do not be too eager to deal out death in judgment. Even the very wise cannot see all ends. My heart tells me that Gollum has some part to play yet, for good or ill before this is over. The pity of Bilbo may rule the fate of many.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned after 30-odd years of being on this earth, it’s that every life is precious and precocious at the same time, myself included. We are flawed beings, after all. Who am I to say that I deserve to live more than others? Who am I to challenge God on the ways of the world? It would be plain arrogance and ignorance for us to assume that we know better, that if we could have our way, the world would be a better place. Every life exists for a reason. Everyone has a role to play. And in the end, only God has the right to mete out what is due.

That said, here’s a list of people i wanna see dead: 

• people who smoke in public vehicles 
• arrogant people 
• female drivers 
• bus drivers 
• VJs 
• pathological liars 
• rich people 
• poor people 
• lazy people 
• actors turned politicos 
• over actors 
• kris aquino 
• ruffa guttierrez and family 
• erap estrada and family 
• dead people, just so they remain dead

These Made Me Laugh

As long as it's done in good taste...

God-like editing skillz!

Happens to me all the time

George Orwell's Animal Farm, 2013 version

They sell them in a wide variety of shapes and sizes

A Love Song Story

once there was a little boy named Mr. Big, and he sat by a Christ-mass tree. and he cried buckles of tears. and he wept and wept. and his wailing was heard in all directions by people, places and things.

now, these people, places and things got so bothered by the ruckus this little boy was making. so they all went to him to see if there was anything they could do to keep him from crying.

first to come by was a horny gaye preacher man. not gaye queer, but gaye haha. “brother, brother..” he spoke. “what’s going on?”

the little boy named Mr. Big looked up as he wiped his buckle-sized tears. “i loved a girl but she didn't love me back. when she left, i told her to  just take my heart, and she did.” he replied.

“lost your heart, eh? don't worry boy, all you need is a little bit of… sexual healing, heh.” the horny gaye preacherman suggested coyly.

“there’s nothing you can do.” interrupted a four-headed beatle, as it climbed down from the Christ-mass tree. it looked at the child and said, “don't listen to him. all you need is love.”

now each of the beatle’s heads had a name, and they were called, from left to right: John the bespectacled, Paul, George and Green-go. “.. love is all you need.”, the bespectacled one added.

now amongst the crowd there was a girl named Tina. Tina-who-turned-her, as she was oft called, has had her heart broken one too many times. and she got mad when she heard what the beatle had to say. “what’s love got to do with it?!” she inquired declaratively. “who needs a heart when a heart can be broken?”

and everyone else apart from the beatle agreed  to what she said, and they all stared at the beatle. and the beatle, in humiliation, broke up. but Egg Yolk O’Oh-no, who was also among the crowd, took pity on John the bespectacled, so she cared for him in the three other beatle’s stead, and the two of them left the crowd to give peace a chance.

“stop, in the name of love!” screamed a group of minstrels, all the while raising their hands with their palms facing the now denser crowd, as if to appease the growing uneasiness. “think it over!” they pleaded, but no one was really listening.

“love hurts” opined Nazareth, who was a slumbering place awoken from her sleep by the child’s woes. “i’ve really learned a lot. REALLY learned a lot”, she added. and everyone believed her because they knew of the man who once born on Nazareth’s bosom and lived and died and changed the world. and everyone started to calm down a little, though just a little.

“i would do anything for love.” murmured an envious meatloaf.

Patti the Blacksmith, hungry from her travels, crept behind the meatloaf, and gobbled him up. “but sometimes, love just ain’t enough.”, she burped. and everyone laughed upon seeing the meatloaf’s demise.

even those of royal blood descended from their palace to see the boy:

“your hurt will heal, little boy.’cause you don’t have a wooden heart.” said the King.

“funny thing for you to say, o king of mine. right after you just killed a man.” said the Queen.

“ah-huh...ah-huh....” said the Princess formerly known as Prince, in his/her usual/unusual high-pitched faggoty voice.

and the crowd gave each of their opium-onions and adder-vices to the boy, and the boy tried to listen. but each time he heard one, he would realize how useless these opium-onions and adder-vices were, so instead he continued to cry. now this infuriated the crowd even more, and they started to argue amongst themselves and their voices started to rise, and tension started to spread. and they failed to see that the boy’s tears have started to engulf them all.

“there’s a hole in his heart that can only be filled by what?!” exclaimed a group of extremists.

“perhaps love.” said John from Denver.

“but where’s the love?” asked the three little Hanson pigs. “just give it up! ’cause it’s gone in an mmmbop!”

“don’t the three of you know?” interrupted a very wet, wet, wet man. “love is all around you. just like Christ-mass is all around you” and everyone made a face and raised their eyebrows at the wet, wet, wet man, for they wondered what made him say that. none of them realizing that it was love, actually.

but before anyone else from the crowd could speak up next, the boy’s tears turned into an enormous tidal wave that drowned them all and killed them all. and the only ones able to survive were the eagles, for they could flap their wings over the rising waters. “love will keep us alive.” they said proudly, as they soared into non-existence.

as the violent waves settled down, the boy’s tears had turned the place around the Christ-mass tree into an oasis, and it had a life of its own. and it saw that there was no one else left to talk some sense into the boy, so it began to speak. “i don’t believe that anybody feels the way i do about you now.” said the oasis, as it saw the boy through those teary eyes.

“maybe you’re gonna be the one that saves me, i'm tired of waiting on a line of greens and blues” the little boy named Mr. Big sniffed, as he waited for the oasis to answer.

“by now, you should have realized what you got to do.” nodded the oasis borne of the little boy’s tears. “after all, you’re my waterfall.”

once the boy heard this pun and realized the oasis' wit, he began to smile and laugh, and his tears began to stop.

and the boy and the oasis became the best of friends and talked about love ’till the end of time under the Christ-mass tree. they're there still.

Songs and Emotions

my parents could already tell that i had an inkling to be a musician since i was three. back then, i had this book of nursery rhymes that i could sing by heart, from one book end to another. well, my listening palette has increased considerably since then, and music has become the catalyst for many turning points and decision-making in my life. here are the songs that mean a great deal to me. maybe you could take the time to check each of them out and listen to them at your own time, perhaps they may do you good as well.

1. de do do do (the police)/ wait (the beatles)/ matthew (john denver) - the songs i listened to the most when i was around 4-7 years old. the melodies were what first pulled me in, because back then i still couldn’t understand what the songs were about (not that i do now). many thanks to my father for making me listen to them, also for whipping me silly when i ruined the stereo from excessively rewinding and playing the tapes.

2. sleepyhouse (blind melon) - the most sublime vocal melodies i have ever listened to, especially when shannon hoon declares, “the mistakes that i made, they don’t seem to bother me, and i sure as hell don’t feel like i missed any kind of train.” no worries, no remorse. truly, complacency at times can be a virtue.

3. mayonnaise (smashing pumpkins) - who doesn’t love this song? probably those who don't have ears. probably.

4. airbag (radiohead) - whenever i hear the cello and guitar intro i feel the urge close my eyes and conduct an unseen orchestra. everything in this song screams genius. from the loop-like drumbeats to the sparse basslines to thom yorke’s drunken lyricism. the song talks about transcending your mortality and material possessions, at least that's what methinks.

5. little wing (jimi hendrix) - the song that made me rethink my guitar playing. when i first heard this, i could almost hear jimi saying, “listen up and get schooled, boy!” i bought my fender strat before i heard this song, which isn't the guitar i actually wanted (FYI, it was washburn n2). in retrospect, i am so glad it’s the guitar that i chose. makes me comfortably numb knowing i’m playing the same type of guitar that jimi did.

6. reptile (nine inch nails) - bad break up? this is the perfect song to listen to. the lyrics confirm what all men will eventually come to know: that women are the sadistic spawns of satan.

7. #41 (dave matthews band) - nothing can compare to the sense of urgency that radiates from this song. coupled with matthews’ syrupy vocals and desperately pleading lyrics, a song i always dream to play live. now if only i can find a band to play with that's just as good…

8. three stars and the sun (francism) - a song that every patriotic filipino should listen to. i come close to tears almost everytime i hear francism’s voice almost cracking and faltering as he screams “don’t tell me that you understand, it’s been 400 years of tears for the brown man!” heck, i’m already in tears as i’m typing this. whoever isn’t moved by this song is one passive prick.

9. toxicity (system of a down) - the last great rock band to walk the earth. hearing the song for the first time, i wanted to start a riot. "disorder!!! disorder!!!" yeah! this song really perked up my curiosity because the music was metal, yet funky. and the lyrics were dead serious, but the singing sounded satirical, almost sarcastic. a real fun band to listen to, pity they broke up.

10. bohemian rhapsody (queen) - the greatest song in the world, ever. ’nuff said.

“Hating” American Idol (August 20th, 2009)

i recently made a scalding comment about American Idol on the August 2009 issue of Pulp and i’ve been receiving flak from some of my friends ever since. let me have this opportunity to explain myself.
first of all, i don’t hate American Idol. i watch the auditions for chrissakes.

what i hate is what it has turned the listening public into.

let’s face it, the youth as a collective is highly impressionable. and if a young impressionable person watches the show, what he/she hears are “pointers” on how to become a star, how a star should perform on stage, and all the norms and mores and the hullabalooshit are unconsciously force-fed into said youth. so this youth, thinking that everything that randy, paula and simon says are the gospel to superstardom (hey, they’re on tv, they must be right), begins to pattern him/herself to this image of what a star should be. now, we have a safe and stale “artist” in our hands.

now this would have been ok if not for the fact that the masses tend to immerse themselves with this kind of “artist”. think about it. look at the current top 40 of music today. any artist in today’s list could easily fit into an American Idol competition. Katy Perry? Taylor Swift? Jonas Brothers?!?!?!?!

15 years ago, music was so diverse and exciting. in any top40 list, you’d probably find the Backstreet Boys, but you’ll also find Nirvana. on one side you’ve got Dido, but Wu-tang Clan is sitting just right beside her. music could be fresh, sweet, weird, and dangerous at the same time. one line of a song could immediately change the course of your life.

i badly miss those days.

so in conclusion, i hope i have made it clear that i don’t see American Idol as the enemy. it still boils down to us as a public to be discerning of the artists we support and listen to. here’s hoping that music can be once again exciting and life-changing as it used to be.

With a Twist

The Filipino fart is worth dying for.

Because a Filipino would rather die than admit it.