10 Signs that Winnie the Pooh is Gay

1. his eyebrows have been shaved and plucked into shape

2. his t-shirt has been sheared horizontally in the middle (only He-man is allowed to wear a half-shirt and still look manly)

3. he wears a tan

4. he’s a neat freak

5. he loves to cuddle

6. he changed his name from “winifredo” to the more effeminate “winnie”

7. he’s too much of a wuss to cuss. everybody knows pooh means shit

8. he has a voice akin to well-known pedophiles

9. he had his male genitalia surgically removed

10. his BFF is a sissy midget in a pink spandex